How to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 12-days

Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize earlier this week. Over the last decade the only requirement to win the prize was that the nominee had to be critical of George W. Bush (see Al Gore, Mohamed El Baradei and Jimmy Carter).
President Obama has broken new ground here. Nominations for potential winners of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize ended on February 1. The president took office only 12 days earlier on January 20.
Let’s take a look at the president’s first 12 days in the White House according to his public schedule to see what he did to deserve a Nobel Peace Prize:

January 20: Sworn in as president. Went to a parade. Partied.
January 21: Asked bureaucrats to re-write guidelines for information requests. Held an “open house” party at the White House.
January 22: Signed Executive Orders: Executive Branch workers to take ethics pledge; re-affirmed Army Field Manual techniques for interrogations; expressed desire to close Gitmo (how’s that working out?)
January 23: Ordered the release of federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries. Lunch with Joe Biden; met with Tim Geithner.
January 24: Budget meeting with economic team.
January 25: Skipped church.
January 26: Gave speech about jobs and energy. Met with Hillary Clinton. Attended Geithner’s swearing in ceremony.
January 27: Met with Republicans. Spoke at a clock tower in Ohio.
January 28: Economic meetings in the morning, met with Defense secretary in the afternoon.
January 29: Signed Ledbetter Bill overturning Supreme Court decision on lawsuits over wages. Party in the State Room. Met with Biden.
January 30: Met economic advisers. Gave speech on Middle Class Working Families Task Force. Met with senior enlisted military officials.
January 31: Took the day off.
February 1: Skipped church. Threw a Super Bowl party.

So there you have it. The short path to the Nobel Peace Prize: Party, go to meetings, skip church, release federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries, party some more.

For those of you who know me really well, know that I really love NASCAR.

My friend sent me an email with a very funny Nascar bit, so here it is:

So I had a previous post where I mentioned that I have had a gun pulled on me.  In that post, Denise asked me to explain more.  So here it goes:

My Dad used to own a furniture store.  The power went out, and when it came back on it caused the alarm to trip out and go off.  When the alarm goes off, my Dad was always the first one to be called.  He asked me to go with him, so I did.  We didn’t leave the house right away, so by the time we got to the store, we thought the Police had already come and gone.  Next, we went into the store and checked it out.  Dad did some things on the computer there at the store.  After that, we locked up the store and got into the truck.  I need to mention that the whole building was glass, so you could see through to opposite side of the building. And it was pretty dark out side at the time. 

Now comes the fun part…

As we were backing out we saw through the building what appeared to be a light of some sort.  More specifically, it looked like a spot light from a police car.  There were not any overhead police lights going, so we could not tell for sure.  My Dad was pretty certain that it was a police car.  He told me to run over there and tell them that everything was okay. That is exactly what I did.  However, when I got to the other side of the building, I remember a police officer pulling his gun from the holster.  The next thing I heard was “Freeze, Don’t Move.  Put your hands in the air!”  In was a matter of seconds, but what seemed like eternity, my Dad drove to my side of the building.  When he got over there, the police were grilling him, and he had to prove that he was the owner of the store. 

Moral of the story: Do not run towards a police officer in the dark, even if nothing is wrong.

Neal tagged me, so here it goes. 

All about me — Alphabetically!
A. ATTACHED OR SINGLE? Attached
B. BEST FRIEND? Krissie
C. CAKE OR PIE? Devil’s Food Cake
D. DAY OF CHOICE? Saturday
E. ESSENTIAL ITEMS? Clothes, LOL
F. FAVORITE COLORS? Red and Blue (in that order)
G. GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS? Sour Worms
H. HOMETOWN? Boise, Idaho
I. INDULGENCE? Not really sure
J. JANUARY OR JULY? January
K. KIDS? Not yet
L. LIFE ISN’T COMPLETE WITHOUT? Dr. Pepper & Fat Bowl of Mongolian BBQ
M. MARRIAGE DATE? July 29, 2006
N. NUMBER OF BROTHERS AND SISTERS? 2 sisters, 1 brother, 3 sis-in-laws, 2 bro’s in law, 1 step bro and 1 step sister.
O. ORANGES OR APPLES. Oranges
P. PHOBIAS OR FEARS? Fear of loosing my wife
Q. QUOTE: “Hey I tell you what.  You can take a good look at a T-Bone by sticking your head up a butcher’s ass, No wait, it’s gotta be your bull” (Tommy Boy)
R. REASON TO SMILE: My Wife
S. SUPERMAN OR WONDER WOMAN? Wonder Woman
T. TAG 5 PEOPLE: Well since Mike is the only one who reads my blog on a regular basis, then I will tag Mike.
U. UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I had a gun pulled on me by an Ada County Police Officer.
V. VEGETABLES? Salad with Catalina Dressing
W. WORST HABIT? My worst habit would have to be not taking anything seriously. I like to tell jokes.
X. X-RAY OR ULTRASOUND? Don’t Know.
Y. YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Depends on my mood. Right now, it is Mongolian BBQ
Z. ZODIAC SIGN? Aquarius

For those of you who know me, this might not be a surprise. For those of you who don’t know me, I am a big fan of stand-up comedy. This is a video that I came across, and thought was also pretty funny.

I was reading some news online, and came across a post about a dude selling Tiger Woods’ half-eaten apple core on ebay for $36,000:

“I was at the US Open this Friday, following Tiger Woods down the 12th Fairway, after his tee shot, he was eating an apple, 30 yards from his ball he discarded his apple core in the rough, I asked a photothe to kick it over my way, and he did, I never touched the core, Scooped it up in a empty beer cup, as not to disrupt the DNA, Ive got lots of witness’…all moneys go to my daughters college fund.” 

Read more

I found this video, and I think it is pretty dam funny….

I don’t really know where to get started, but once I do, Mike and Denise will both have comments to make about what I say.

In case I have not mentioned before, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Today, in Sunday School, we had a lesson about righteous governments.  The lesson started off pretty well, and had some pretty good discussions.  However, as it progressed, some people said some things that made me think a little bit deeper. Somehow, it got to where someone mentioned that “as members of the church, we are in fact a minority”.  I thought about this, and thought that this is in fact very true.  Since I have been a member of the church my whole life, I have never given that much thought.

Then someone mentioned that there are two most hated groups in America.  He said the #1 hated group are Homosexuals.  And the #2 hated group is Mormons.  I don’t know if that is necessarily 100% true, but I think that we are up there.  This leads me to my next point that no matter what the issue is, whether good or bad, membership of the LDS Church or Mormon Church is brought up.  When Mitt Romney was still in the Presidential race, his religion was brought up all the time.  I don’t know what his beliefs or his church had to do with him running for office. Usually, that is not brought up with other candidates.  During other Presidential races, I have rarely heard anyone make a big deal about what religion they were.  However, just because Mitt Romney is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, then people don’t want him as President.

I was sorting through some old emails, and I came across this little funny joke.  If you are ever having a bad day, and want to get a good laugh, just follow these instructions

How to start the day with a positive outlook!

1. Create a new folder on your computer.
2. Name it “Hillary Clinton”
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your PC will ask you, “Do you really want to get rid of “Hillary Clinton?”
6. Firmly Click “Yes.”
7. Feel Better?
8. Tomorrow we’ll do Ted Kennedy.

I don’t know if that is an appropriate title for this post, but that is the first thing that I thought when I saw this picture.  On Thursday May 22, I was driving over to my Mom’s house to go camping, and I saw this van.